| random |
[20 Jul 2006|05:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bother-stonesour |
] |
Well here I sit at work. Bored and lonely. I dont know why i just feel so fucked up right now. I havent wanted to do what I want to do in a very long time, kinda scares me
thoughts explode, tiny little fragments
what used to hold me together
now slipping away
the voices come back
incessant inner urges
gripping my lungs
forcing down the scream
the marionettes hands work
slow motion, slicing upward
quick little flashes
placed in the tub of tranquil hot water
the nerves deaden faster
and the blood flows just as fast
the world speeds up, while i'm still in one place
all one blur
none look at my face
like one of the greastest bands ever said....i...have become...comfortable numb...gotta love pink floyd
|
|
|
[17 Jul 2006|01:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 la la la LAAAAAAAAA!!!!! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the cooler.......oooooooooohhh!!! |
] |
geez la-weezy, I have not written in here in ages. So how has everyone been? I hope good. My parents are all fucked up, my dad slept on the couch five days this week, and told my mom he was leavin, and she was like " ok, bye!!!" but he didnt' leave. She told me that hes been hitting her again, anybody, somebody, if I go to jail for murder will you bust me out or leave me to rot??? j/w. Yeah, s0o I've been kind of an evil bitch lately sorry to all who have suffered the WRATH...MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...HEHEHEHEHEHE hehehe COUGH!!!! sorry, cough, yeaeeeeeeah. So I am really bored at work right now,,,, who thinks I should make foam smileys with the window cleaner??... raise your hand..I want to go to a party, anybody know of any?? I miss C-OOOOOOODDDDDYYYYYY!!! kitty??? wow, i swear that i am not on crack, i dont know whats wrong with me. sigh i guess i will end this weird fucked up the ass sideways monkey ball licking meth addict of an entry!! Tootles!!!
|
|
|
[12 Jun 2006|01:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
Well, not a lot has been going on lately. Just working and spending a lot of time with Lee and Nathan. We went to the street races Saturday night, and it was awesome, talk about sexy ass vehicles, but then there were a couple that were peices of shit. Hung out for about 2 hours and then the cops showed up, talk about an adrenaline rush, it was hilarious. Talk about getting turned on, whew, it was great. Friday I went and watched the Omen, and it was bad fucking ass, I loved that movie. It was pretty fucking creepy, and I one point, me and every other female in the place along with some guys screamed like little bithes. It was a really good movie. I would recommend seeing it. Wow, I am so bored, I have already finished everthing that I can do for the day, its at this point that i get so bored that I want to eat!! ahhhh anyway boss is here so farewell
|
|
|
[07 Jun 2006|12:02pm] |
|
I want to get my lip repeirced, but I dont know how that is going to happen with this new job. I guess that I will just have to wait until I go back to college. This one chic that I work with doesnt do shit. The reason I am on here typing right now is because she is in the back working on a scrap book, so i see it as if she is not working then why should I??? Anyway, me and lee have been talking a lot and he said that he will quit trying to control me and I will quit being an anal independent bitch. Things have been great, I still want to be able to say that he is mine. Its hard but I can deal with it, but i am
|
|
|
[25 May 2006|08:51pm] |
|
Things havent exactly been the best, well me and Lee broke up, he said that he would get my mom in trouble so that grand would be taken away and I told him I would get him arrested. I tried to rip off his balls and backhanded him and he punched a hole in my windsheild. But strangly enough I think me and Lee will always be together, because i've have never ached more in my life and never hurt or felt so utterly empty. I love him more than anything else on this planet, give or take a few family members. I finally have a job though at least something good happened. but my parents hate him and dont' want us together...shit...finish later luvv
|
|
|
[27 Apr 2006|07:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 what to do what to do?? |
] |
Well I havent written in here in a very long time...sigh, whats to say??? I am thinking about joining the army reserves after this summer, I made a 92 on the entrance test, which says i am a genius, bullshit right??, school is about to be out and I am so thankful that my fist year here is finally over, i def. did not do as well as I should have, but live and learn right. I'll do better next time. I hope to have a lot of fun this summer, hopefully go to the crawfish boil, and hopefully go to a nine inch nails concert, and hopefully celebrate me and lees 1yr anniversary, i cant believe its really been that long. well anyway love everyone!!!
|
|
|
[07 Mar 2006|08:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ............ |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
i cant feel you...are you touching me? |
] |
The whole not being able to find a job because of my class schedule is really starting to suck. And lees mom is being a bitch, she is so wrapped up in her boyfriend she hasnt moved in properly to their new house, hasnt gotten a phone, she wont let me stay over there now unless shes there, they cant have anyone over unless shes there, um what is the point of that when she is never home, they are basically living in a house all by themselves while she is permantly shoved up her boyfriends ass. I am going to freak out on her pretty soon, she sais that i cant be there unless she is there, then i can never be there b/c they have no phone to know if she is there or not, she doesnt stay there long when she is, and she said " he can still come stay with you" yeah is your bitch ass going to bring him here, b/c um i dont work and i'm am supposed to be paying for my college education and you want me come pick up your son b/c you cant remove your mouth from your boyfriends dick for 2. motherfucking 5 seconds to BREATH!!!! i swear she is absolutely the most selfish woman that i have ever met in my entire life. this sucks, i dont think that i have ever wanted to blow my head off more. i hate her, god, sorry for that annoying long explosion of anger, but i feel like i am teetering on the edge of a precipice and one breath of wind will send me over. i stay up till 3 in the morning so that i can avoid my dreams, the other day my mom ( was drunk) made me promise that no matter how bad things got at school that i would never hurt myself how the hell would she know that?? I dont know about that, things arent going as fast with the court like i thought, my mom hasnt even talked to the guy like she was supposed to like 2 weeks ago, i cant get a job, i cant see or talk to lee, i'm starting to make him hate me like i do eventually with everyone, i cant pay for school, i dont have a car, no friends here , nothing....and my hair is stupid. sorry everyone, i'll just go
|
|
|
[20 Feb 2006|08:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
la la la...POW..drip drip drip |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the dripping of all i loved...dripping away |
] |
Well havent written in a while. One of my used to be best friends just left for quite a long time. Don't know if I'll ever talk to him again. Sigh...sadness oh well. I'm going to meet with the lawyer again, I have to tell him all the same shit over again, because hes bringing his partner in on it too. Sigh, I have a feeling I'm going to have to relive all the shit over and over and over agian. But I guess in the end it will all be worth it. I hope so anyway. I hope I get his ass. He is so wrong for the things that he did. I bet the cocky bastard thinks that we're just letting it go, but oh no, if someone fucks with me and my family they get everything that me and hopefully god has in store for them. And if all else fails, I dont think that my dad will let him live to long. why do we trust people? why do we sit there and think" oh, something good is happening for no reason, hmm, some man is offering me a job even though ive never worked in the dental feild, and have no experience whatsoever, theres no reason to worry!!" I feel like an idiot a complete and total idiot, someone slap me in the face, just back hand me, or shoot me, even better. I dont know how im going to pay for school, i cant find a job b/c my class schedule is so fucked up and I'd barely be able to work for 4 hours everyday of the week exc. tues. and thurs. sigh...what the fuck did i do wrong?????????
|
|
|
[03 Feb 2006|01:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
over and over, cut and bleed.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the only song that ive ever written, playing in my head.. |
] |
Well I havent written in here in quite a while. Some crazy things have been happening lately. Yeah very depressing things, I wish I had my friends closer. One gets too depressed and they start getting ideas, if you know what I mean, I think that you do kim bo. I love all you crazy lil punks. Oh and I found out something that someone i love very much did to me and it hurts, especially right now it hurts....so bad .
|
|
|
[24 Jan 2006|02:54am] |
that sounds so lovely at the moment....will anyone care to join, kim? aerial? jacob? cody? anyone.....
|
|
|
[05 Jan 2006|11:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 I need my one and only!!! |
] |
Well a lot has happened this week. The most pressing is my handsome. I havent really been able to talk to him for two days, thats a very long time!! I miss him so much and want nothing more than to have his arms around me, i love him so much. I'm bummed b/c our anniversary is tomorrow and i probably wont even get to talk to him, i will so cry, i am so emo, i started reading his poems earlier, and they hit me like they never have before, i cried so hard. I had to get out of my room so i came here to write, otherwise i would have curled into the fetal position and died. Sigh, i miss him so much, handsome i need you!!! i love you!!! sob...i have never felt more alone in my entire life, than i have these past two days. i am so depressed. other news, classes have started and im excited i'm learning to speak italian, i hope that it as fun as i think it will be, if not i just cry some more like the emo little pansy that i am. kim talk to me, tell me that it will be okay, i need someone really badly right now because i cant have my one and only....
|
|
|
[05 Jan 2006|11:44pm] |
| B | Beautiful | | O | Odd | | O | Overwhelming | | K | Kind | | S | Sweet | | R | Rounded | | U | Unforgettable | | R | Realistic | | F | Flirtatious | | R | Relaxed | | I | Ideal | | E | Earthy | | N | Naive | | D | Delicate | | S | Sensational |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
|
|
|
[05 Jan 2006|11:16pm] |
A - AGE:
19
B - BEST FRIEND:
Lee, Tiffany, Kim, and David
C - CRUSH:
My handsome man lee
D - DAD'S NAME:
David Lee Mathis
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO:
Lee, David, Cliff and Pooh
F - FAVORITE BAND:
Not sure
G - GUMMY BEARS OR SOUR WORMS?
sour worms
H - HOMETOWN:
Indianapolis, Indiana
I - INSTRUMENT:
piano
J - JOB
Dental Assistant
K - KIDS:
depends...
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE:
Niagra Falls(Canada, NY) and Utah
M - MILK FLAVOR:
CHOCOLATE!!!
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS:
4 sis's and 1 bro
O - ONE WISH:
To always be with lee
P - PHOBIA(S):
emotions
Q - FAVORITE SONG(S):
rain, when you want it, vindicated
R- REASON TO SMILE:
Lee, kim,pooh,lee,jacob,grand,lee
my soon to be neice, oh and lee
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD:
rain, breaking benjamen
T - TIME YOU WAKE UP:
i rarely sleep regularly
U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME
i have trouble expressing emotions,
V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE
spinach
W-WORST HABIT(S):
biting my nails
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD:
teeth,CAT any other xrays of the brain
Y - YUMMY FOOD!:
chicken, chocolate,CHEESE STICKS!!, pizza!!
Z- ZODIAC SIGN:
scorpio
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
booksrurfriends's journal
